haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
