You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
