Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Randomize
