just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
