I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
