please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
