I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
