you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
