Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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