I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
