I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Don't tell me you're on acid again
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
