We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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