Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Dick very happy bro
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize