so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
vagina is talking i cant
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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