i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
