We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize