tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
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