omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I just found a bag of teeth...
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
