i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
