There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
