Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Randomize
