he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Randomize
