We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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