I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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