so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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