so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
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