Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I need to align my fucking chakras
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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