At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
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