I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
