she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
