Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
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