Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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