she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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