I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
