East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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