bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
