Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
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