He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
