he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
