you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
