Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Randomize
