Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
