your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
