i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Be still, my beating vagina.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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