I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
