I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
