I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
