jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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