wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize