Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
