did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I would fuck him just for his dog
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
